Few people understand the pain of childlessness
As we go through life there are expected rites of passage, such as going to school, starting a career, buying a home, meeting the one and having a family of our own. But life isn’t always that simple and can throw a curveball at any time.
Yet if you’re suddenly made redundant there’s the chance to look for another job or establish a business of your own. If you buy a home but you’re unable to keep up repayments and lose it, there’s always the option to regroup yourself and perhaps find another home. It’s often possible to bounce back from the curveballs.
But when it comes to having a family of your own, discovering you have infertility problems can mean years of seeing doctors, endless procedures and various treatments, often with nothing at the end of it. Just shattered hopes, unfulfilled dreams and the emotional pain of dealing with childlessness.
It’s an extremely private pain that often remains unacknowledged by others. A pain that is hidden while you try to go about the routine of daily living and work. A pain that is not recognized by others, unless they’ve been through the experience.
That pain is compounded by the pressure to ‘keep on trying’ with the dream, in the hope of the miracle baby at the end. When you’ve finally decided that enough is enough, then perhaps there’s the guilt of thinking perhaps you should’ve tried just one more time. Eventually time passes and it’s too late – the baby boat has sailed – and all you’re left with is the fallout of your feelings - and nobody around you that understands.
Discovering you are unable to have children is a trauma, not just a ‘difficult experience’ as others might label it. It leads to a myriad of negative thinking patterns and beliefs about yourself, horribly impacts your sense of self and can lead to anxiety, depression, anger, and a sense of isolation from others.
Being childless-not-by-choice is a form of grief for the unborn children and for the life you hoped for, for the existence that should have been different.
It’s something I deeply understand
because I’ve been through it
Letting go of the dream, difficult as it is, is the beginning of healing.
My own journey was physically and emotionally painful - fraught with anxiety and constant worry. My life was an emotional roller-coaster of infertility treatments and when it was all over, I felt shattered.
To recover from the aftermath of infertility, I set about learning how to heal myself.
This led to years of study and training in hypnotherapy and other cutting edge mind tools, meridian therapies and a host of others, which brought about a transformation in myself, and the ability to help others through the process of coming to terms with being childless.
I am in the process of developing the Childless-Not-By-Choice - Healing & Moving Forward Course.
If you would like to know when the course is available, please let me know and I'll contact you as soon as it's available online.
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