Comparisonitis is a condition where you’re constantly comparing yourself to others. Okay, it’s a made-up word but it does portray how painful it can be. It’s a reliable but somewhat detrimental way to reduce your confidence, self-esteem and motivation. It’s natural to compare yourself to others, most everyone does. But that doesn’t mean it’s a smart thing to do. If you want to become the best possible and happiest you – you need to cure yourself of comparisonitis!
The Problem of Comparisonitis:
There are several challenges that occur when you compare yourself to someone else:
Everyone has a different starting point
You might be just learning to drive and the thought of motorways scares you, but your friend has been confidently driving for 10 years. You might be interested in doing a degree, but your friends did theirs years ago and now have established careers. You can’t compare progress, results, or success unless the starting points are the same, and they never are. But don’t let that stop you from doing what you want to do.
Everyone has a different level of talent
Some people are born with a high IQ. And some people naturally have amazing hand-eye coordination. Others have a natural knack for music, art or writing. Again, different starting points.
The resources available to you and another person are different.
If you want to play the piano and your father is a wealthy concert pianist, you have a huge advantage over someone born into a financially-challenged family that has no experience in music.
We tend to compare ourselves to the best in the world
This is where comparisonitis really comes into play. You compare yourself to world champions, supermodels, Oscar winners. You don’t compare yourself Mr or Ms Average. Instead you look to the best the world has to offer and decide that you’re somehow lacking. Much better to get a dose of reality and compare yourself to your neighbour!
There’s always someone better
There are only a handful of people that can make a reasonable claim to being the best at anything. There are nearly eight billion people in the world. That’s a lot of people you have to surpass to be the best. Why put all that pressure on yourself?
It’s easy to see why comparisonitis can be dangerous. There’s little to gain and too much risk. Comparing yourself to others doesn’t provide useful information. You’re only going to upset yourself, and that type of comparison isn’t fair in the first place.
The Solution - Here’s what you can do instead:
Compare yourself to yourself
A better option is to compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Pay attention to your progress over time. Notice your improvement. Strive to become better each day. Your real competition is the person staring back at you from the mirror.
Limit your exposure to social media
In theory, social media exists to connect people. In actuality, social media is often used as a way of showing off. Besides, how do you know their Instagram Story is the real story? What you get is someone’s best attempt to make their life look better than it really is. Everyone, except you, seems to be living a spectacular life. It’s not true. In fact, they’re probably suffering from comparisonitis more than anyone else, hence why they feel the need to post that crap! Did you know that most people report being happier when they remove social media from their lives? Yes, it really can affect people’s mental health to that degree!
Use the success of others as inspiration
The success of the movers and shakers can be useful to you. You can study how they became so successful. Their success can inspire you to become the best you can be. Just avoid comparing your success to theirs. Their story is different to yours. And you don’t know what’s going on in the background of their lives. Instead of comparing yourself to others – learn from them.
Comparisonitis isn’t good for you
Comparisonitis can be detrimental to your confidence and self-esteem. Instead, compare your current version of yourself to the version of yourself from three months ago. That’s a fair comparison to make. It becomes easy to see your progress or lack of progress.
The best comparison you can make is to your past self. Set a few goals and spend some time each day working on those goals. You’ll be happy when you see the progress you’ve made.
And here’s the added bonus:
By stopping the need to compare, whether that’s via social media or any other way, you save yourself so much time and energy. And that’s more time and energy that you now have available to work on your own goals and personal development. That means you’ll get nearer to the life you want much quicker. Now that’s something to think about, isn’t it?
Did you enjoy this blog? You know, sharing is caring, right? So please, share it with your friends!
And there’s more…
Need to gain iron clad confidence in yourself and a plan of action? Take a look at these fab resources to help you achieve both:
Circumstances and status can affect self-esteem—many factors can contribute to the way we see ourselves—but the one contributing factor that all people who struggle with low self-esteem have in common is their thoughts. Of course you have a better chance of feeling good about yourself when things are going well, but it’s really your interpretation of your circumstances that can cause trouble, regardless of what they are. If you struggle with low or unhealthy self-esteem, this new edition of Self-Esteem, packed with evidence-based tips and techniques, has everything you need to improve the way you see yourself for better overall well-being. Buy this book! Click on the link below: Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem – Matthew McKay PhD:
Do you have a secret desire to write a book? Then everything you need to know about writing a book is right here - click on the link: 40 Days To A Finished Book!
Want to create big change in your life and have yourself some freedom from the daily 9 to 5 grind? Click on the link: Learn how to step into your best life by gaining the skills that you need!
Redefining the genre of ‘self-help comedy,’ Shine is a book about the brevity of life. It contains adult themes of mortality, change, exhaustion and unrelenting pressure. Thankfully, the bleakness is done with humour and the solutions are entertaining, do-able and uplifting. Shine is the literary equivalent of ‘ctrl/alt/delete.’ All you have to do is read the book, keep an open mind, and apply the learning. You will experience a personal re-boot with new mental software installed, upgrading you to ‘best possible self.’ It’s a very simple process that also happens to be ‘not very easy.’ Because, of course, if being your best self was easy, everybody would be doing it. The average lifespan is 4000 weeks. Look around and you’ll see too many people having a ‘near life experience.’ They’re alive, but not living. Truth time: life’s a short and precious gift that’s hurtling by in a blur. If you want to make a dent in the universe, it’s time to wake up. Buy this book! Click on the link below: Shine: Rediscovering Your Energy, Happiness and Purpose – Andy Cope:
A man of true wisdom and the life coach to the elite, in this book written by Michael Neill, you’ll find amazing insights into how your mind works and, more importantly, how to get your mind to work for you. Essential reading if you want to upgrade you life and create something to put out into the world with confidence. Get off social media and go work on a project that will give you back your self-esteem. Buy this book! Click on the link below: Creating the Impossible: A 90-day Programme to Get Your Dreams Out of Your Head and into the World – Michael Neill:
And here’s another gem from Michael Neill. In this friendly and practical guide, Michael uses the techniques that have already helped thousands of people to create seemingly effortless success, transform your relationships, finances, and health, experience happiness every day, regardless of your circumstances, and live an inspired (and inspiring) life. So start reading . . . and get everything you want out of life! Buy this book! Click on the link below: You Can Have What You Want: Proven Strategies for Inner and Outer Success – Michael Neill:
If social media makes you think that everyone in the world (except you!) has got their shit together, then you need to read this book! If you’re feeling lost and wondering what is ‘the thing’ you’re meant to do with your life, and how to turn your dreams into reality, then read on. In Find Your Passion and Live A Life You Love you’ll discover a powerful set of questions, prompts and exercises that will help you do exactly that. From there you can create a plan of action and move forward with your life. Buy this book! Click on the link below: Find Your Passion and Live A Life You Love: Questions, Prompts and Exercises to Help Find Your Passion and Discover Your Purpose – Emma Jones:
Do you have Imposter Syndrome? Here’s a blog to help you deal with it. Don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter in the contact form below! Click on the link: Do You Have Imposter Syndrome (ruthybaker.com)
Want a Confidence Tip? Take a look at this vlog from my YouTube Channel. Please like, share and subscribe to be kept up-to-date with the latest vlogs, videos, guided meditations and much more. Click on the link below:
And here’s another Confidence Tip! Don’t forget to like, share and subscribe to be kept up-to-date with the latest content! – click on the link: https://youtu.be/vWZDdag-AQ0
Did you like this blog? You know, sharing is caring, so please share it with your friends!
To be updated with my latest blogs, books and courses, or to message me for a private online coaching and therapy session, – please fill in the contact form - Click on the Menu and then click Contact - I’ll be thrilled to hear from you!
© Ruthy Baker 2020