The fear of being judged is wired into you. Because, for our ancestors, being judged favourably was often vital to their survival. The alternative was potential removal from the tribe they were in, which could result in their perishing. Is it any wonder you find yourself worrying above what others think of you?
What people say to you can have a lasting effect, leaving you feeling powerless and vulnerable. Often without you understanding why. Over time, the words directed at you can shape your own opinion of yourself and strengthen the fear of being judged.
Without healthy internal boundaries, the fear of being judged can negatively impact your relationships, work, social situations, and self-esteem.
Take a look at these ideas to kick the fear of being judged to the kerb:
Learn your strengths and limitations.
Once you know your strengths and limitations, you’ll be less likely to be affected by what others say. Their opinions on your abilities become irrelevant since you’re aware of what you are capable of being and doing. Of course, it helps to be mindful of your limitations. But that doesn’t mean they have to limit you. You can always find a way to work around any limitations.
Life doesn’t need to be perfect.
Human perfection is a myth. You can power through tasks without them being perfect. Rather than focusing on any imperfections, know that you are doing the best that you can – and that your best is good enough. Imperfectly done is always better than perfectly undone. Besides, don’t you find ‘perfect’ people a bit like an episode of Stepford Wives? So boring!
Understand that people will always have an opinion.
Don’t they just? Hell yeah! Some opinions will warm the cockles of your heart. Others might make you feel pissed off. What matters most is your own opinion.
Be aware of your inner critic.
The Negative Nancy little voice in your head can become deafening at times. Recognize when negative thoughts start to creep in and immediately deal with them. One way is to say to yourself “Stop – not helpful.” It’s a pattern interrupt to an unwanted train of thinking. It’s also a command to your subconscious to stop unhelpful self-talk. Do it often enough, and you’ll notice that Negative Nancy does indeed zip it.
Once you start to recognize what triggers these negative thoughts, you can take the necessary steps to change them into positive ones.
Make yourself a priority.
The fear of being judged gives other people power and priority over your life. Take back control by recognizing that you are your priority, not them.
Invest in yourself.
Enhance your personal growth and well-being by doing more of what you enjoy doing.
Take time for self-care.
It’s vital. The better you treat yourself, the better others will treat you as well, which lessens your fear of being judged. You send signals to your subconscious self that you’re upping the importance you place on yourself. In turn, your innermost self will send out messages to the outside world that you consider yourself to have self-value. You’ll feel better about yourself. Consequently, your ‘vibe’ will be higher.
Know that your memories fade.
Even though hearing someone criticize you hurts at the time, if you purposely put it to the back of your mind by thinking of something else, then the memory of this event will fade. If you find the memory popping up, simply put a more positive spin on it. Perhaps that person was tired and taking it out on you. Maybe they have low self-esteem and put you down to try to feel better about themselves. Call out your own bullshit stories that you make up in your mind about how their criticism is the truth of your existence. Spoiler alert – it isn’t!
Tell yourself that you are good enough.
Look deeply into your own eyes in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re good enough. Practice this exercise several times each day – whenever you’re in front of a mirror. Mirror work is useful because it heightens the connection with your subconscious when you look into your own eyes.
Soon, you’ll automatically think about how you are good enough every time you see yourself. Your self-talk will automatically start to gravitate to the positive.
Consistent, positive reassurance such as this can help overcome the fear of being judged.
Before you let the fear of being judged stop you from living fully in your power, try these tips. You’ll be glad you did!
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