When You Don’t Get What You Want

Updated: Jan 11

What do you do when you don’t get what you want? It can be frustrating when you’ve done all you can to create the right conditions to make your goal, dream or desire happen. Perhaps you’ve worked hard, done all the affirmations, worked through various law of attraction techniques, and even crossed your fingers and toes – all to no avail.


Well, I have a little secret – I am the Queen of Manifestation. There was a time when I would simply say out loud or write down what I wanted – and lo and behold – it would turn up. Sometimes within a couple of hours.


My favourite law of attraction technique would be to decide what I required and desired, then list all the attributes that I’d decided would result in the perfect manifestation. Except it never quite worked out the way I wanted…


What to do when you don’t get what you want


Whether it was jobs, houses, relationships, furniture, cars, or whatever I thought I needed at the time, I dutifully wrote my list out. And I received exactly what I asked for. Every. Single. Time.


But actually, although all the prerequisites on my lists were fulfilled, there was always a bounce back, a snap back, that would punch me right on my metaphorical nose. Ouch!


What I thought would be a fabulous job turned out to be working for a micro-managing boss with absolutely no sense of humour in an office so toxic even the plants died.


A relationship that appeared to tick all the boxes might have been successful, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was addicted to dating sites and running around behind my back. And was so tight it’s a wonder he didn’t squeak when he walked. Note to self: remember to put truthful, faithful and generous on the list.


The car that I craved was fine for the first two weeks and then conked out with a repair that would cost more than the car was worth. It went to the scrap metal merchants.


And so it went on…


So, when you don’t get what you want, what does it mean?


Well, the main thing, as I see it, is being too rigid in your list. You see, you’re telling the Universe what to deliver to you, what it must look like, how it turns up and when. But that doesn’t allow any wiggle room for the Universe to deliver you that – or something better.


The lesson learned from mistakes


After years of getting it wrong, that was the big takeaway I discovered. Lists are fine, but always tell the Universe you want that or something better, and you’ll leave it up to the Universe to deliver you exactly what you need and in perfect timing.


I did that for the first time after becoming frustrated with my batshit crazy results thus far. For instance, when I dispensed with the dating site addict, I asked the Universe for the perfect relationship for me. I added that I would like it to be with someone who I felt that I had always known, and that it would be great if he was creative and liked photography. Oh, and if he had a VW campervan that would be awesome, as I liked the idea of going off somewhere different for the weekend.


This or something better


But, and this is the important bit, I told the Universe that I would leave it up to it to decide what would be the perfect relationship for me. He got in touch three days later and we’ve been together ever since. And, strangely enough, one of his hobbies is photography and guess what type of vehicle he has. Enough said, the Universe rocks when you allow it to in its own way – and you get yourself out the way of its magical doings.


And the other thing I learned about when you don’t get what you want, is that the Universe may simply be protecting you from something that isn’t for your highest good. Indeed, the Universe may have something way more wonderful waiting for you. Something bigger. Something better. Something so flippin’ awesome that you wouldn’t have believed it. When what you desire doesn’t appear – be patient. Be trusting that it will all work out far better than you imagined in the end. Because it will.


A wonderful stroke of luck


I love the quote by the Dalai Lama –


Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.

And it’s important to remember that when you don’t get what you want, it’s probably because you’re being redirected to what’s meant for you.


And, if you become impatient waiting for things to turn around, keep repeating the following affirmation from Mary Morrissey:


Every day in every way, I’m getting better and better, and this is what it looks like while everything that I need is coming into place.

Isn’t that a brilliant quote to pin up somewhere to remind you that it’s all being sorted for you? So, now you know what to do when you don’t get what you want at first!


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And there’s more…


Here’s a selection of books to help you when you don’t get what you want and you want to discover how to turn that around:


When I first read this book, it felt like I had finally found the answers that had eluded me about how exactly the Law of Attraction works. Packed full of powerhouse techniques that get you out of your own way and towards manifesting what you require and desire, there are new and original concepts that help you understand why other techniques haven’t worked for you before. Buy this book! Click on the link below: The Last Law of Attraction Book You’ll Ever Need To Read: The Missing Key To Finally Tapping Into The Universe And Manifesting Your Desires – Andrew Kap:



If you suspect that your own subconscious blocks are holding you back, if you feel there’s a part missing from your manifestation manifesto – then this is the book for you. Richard Dotts is an amazing storehouse of Law of Attraction knowledge and his work is not to be missed off your list of essential reading. Buy this book! Click on the link below: It Is Done!: The Final Step To Instant Manifestations – Richard Dotts:



Filled with golden nuggets too numerous to mention, this book is one to read over and over again and still gain something new from it. Buy this book! Click on the link below: Building Your Field of Dreams – Mary Manin Morrissey:



And who better to help you live a life of happiness than the Dalai Lama. Offering a whole new perspective on life, with clear and simple insights, this book will help you to discover more joy and happiness. It’s what I call accessible spirituality, and easy-to-read take on the importance of living in the now, and that true happiness doesn’t consist of what you own or what you look like. Instead, happiness is an inner state of love, compassion and peaceful acceptance of what it. Buy this book! Click on the link below: The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living – The Dalai Lama:



Want to learn about Switchwords and how they can help you manifest what you want? Take a look at my book, which will teach you all about Switchwords, how they came into existence and how to use them. It’s useful knowledge you’ll thank me for! Buy this book! Click on the link below: Speak Yourself Happy: Use Switchwords to Create Your Ideal Life Kindle Edition – Ruthy Baker:



Want to read more blogs? Click on the link: Happiness – It’s an Inside Job (ruthybaker.com)


Want to see a great Law of Attraction technique? Take a look at this video from my YouTube channel demonstrating the ‘Wouldn’t It Be Great If…’ technique. Please remember to like, share and subscribe! Click on the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOJFEZm_8L0


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