Overwhelmed by Household Chores? How to Find Calm, Clarity, and Balance at Home
- Ruthy Baker
- Sep 13
- 13 min read
Updated: Nov 2
Feeling overwhelmed by household chores? Let’s be honest, some days it feels like the laundry multiplies when your back is turned, the sink is staging a soap opera with dirty dishes, and every surface has mysteriously collected stuff you swear you didn’t put there. Add in a full day of work, family or pets underfoot, and low energy from illness or stress… and boom. You’re overwhelmed by household chores before you’ve even begun.
I know this because I live it too. Between fibromyalgia flare-ups, a recent Lisfranc foot fracture, and two glorious but very hairy Tibetan Terriers plus my cat, I often feel like I’m wading through a fur-coated obstacle course. And if I’m not careful, I fall into what I call “InstaPerfect Syndrome” the trap of comparing my home to the spotless, sun-dappled living rooms on Instagram. You know the ones. Perfect lighting, not a toy or dust bunny in sight.
But here’s the truth - real life is not a magazine spread. You’re not failing if your home doesn’t look InstaPerfect. You’re human. And sometimes, “clean and tidy enough” really is more than enough.
So, let’s talk about why chores feel so overwhelming, and what you can do to reclaim your calm, ease the pressure, and find balance in your daily life.
Why Housework Feels So Overwhelming
First, let’s bust the myth that you’re simply “bad at housework” or “lazy.” Chore overwhelm is not a personal flaw. It’s a mix of three big factors:
1. The Invisible Mental Load
Household chores are never just chores. They come with decision-making, planning, and emotional labour.
“Did I remember to buy washing powder?”
“Whose turn is it to empty the dishwasher?”
“What will people think if they see my messy hallway?”
That constant mental juggling can feel heavier than the chores themselves.
2. The Trap of Perfectionism
Social media magnifies the idea that a “good” home is a spotless one. Cue guilt, shame, and endless comparison. The truth? Most people’s homes don’t look like their Instagram posts.
3. Physical & Emotional Energy Limits
If you’re working long hours, living with chronic illness, caring for children, or simply human with fluctuating energy, chores can quickly tip from “doable” to “impossible mountain.”
Mindset Shifts for Chore Overwhelm
Sometimes the hardest part of housework isn’t lifting the vacuum, it’s shifting the way we think.
1. Good Enough is Enough
Your worth is not measured in dust levels. Repeat after me: done is better than perfect.
2. Housework is a Cycle, Not a Project
Unlike painting a room or finishing a report, chores don’t stay done. They’re ongoing. Once you accept that, you stop expecting a finish line that doesn’t exist. A bit like the never-ending laundry pile!
3. Your Home is For Living, Not Performing
Your space is for comfort, connection, and memories. It's not for Instagram likes.
4. Rest is Part of the Process
Taking a pause — whether it’s a cup of tea, a walk, or a guided meditation — actually makes you more effective when you return.
Practical Tips to Lighten the Load
Let’s move from mindset to action. These strategies are simple, realistic, and actually work when you’re short on time, energy, or both.
1. Break It Down Into Micro-Steps
Don’t clean the kitchen. Just wash the mugs. Don’t “do the laundry.” Just load the machine. Action creates momentum.
2. Set a 10–15 Minute Timer
Pop on your favourite playlist or podcast, set a timer, and do as much as you can. When the timer’s up, stop. It’s amazing what gets done in short bursts.
3. Declutter Once, Reduce Chores Forever
Less stuff = less dusting, folding, and tidying. Decluttering is an investment in your future energy.
4. Delegate and Share Responsibility
If you live with a partner, family, or housemates the chores are a team sport. Ask directly. No one is a mind-reader.
5. Match Chores to Energy Levels
Exhausted? Do low-energy tasks like folding clothes while sitting. Energised? Tackle vacuuming or sorting.
6. Anchor Chores to Habits
Stack chores onto existing routines. Example: Wipe the bathroom sink after brushing your teeth.
A Gentle Chores Toolkit
Sometimes you just need a go-to list that makes everything feel more doable. Try these:
Daily 10-Minute Tidy Sweep:
Walk through the house with a basket, gathering items to return later.
One Load Rule:
One load of laundry per day keeps Mount Washmore at bay.
Basket System:
Keep a small basket in each room for quick pick-ups.
Zone Cleaning:
Assign one area per day instead of attempting the whole house.
Pair With Pleasure:
Light a candle, play music, or listen to a guided meditation while you tidy.
Weekly Reset Ritual:
Choose one day (maybe Sunday evening) to reset key areas like the kitchen or entryway.
Supporting Yourself When Overwhelm Hits
Sometimes, even with strategies, overwhelm still creeps in. That’s your signal to pause and recharge your own battery.
This will help you to:
Calm the mental clutter.
Release the guilt and pressure.
Reconnect with a sense of ease and clarity.
Even 10 minutes can shift your whole perspective. You’ll return to your home - and yourself - with more compassion and less stress.
💫 Chore chaos got you spiralling? Pause the pressure and press play on peace. 🎧 Listen to this free guided meditation on my podcast to reset your energy, release the guilt, and reclaim your calm - one breath at a time:
Q&A: Common Struggles Around Chores:
Q: What if my partner doesn’t help enough?
A: Have an honest, specific conversation. Instead of “you never help,” try “could you please put a load of laundry in on Tuesdays?” Specific requests are more effective.
Q: How do I stop chores piling up until they feel impossible?
A: Aim for small, daily maintenance (like the 10-minute tidy or one load of laundry rule). Little and often beats big and overwhelming.
Q: What if I’m just too tired?
A: Honour your body. Rest first, then do the bare minimum. Remember, clean enough is enough.
Journaling Prompts to Ease Chore Overwhelm
Grab your journal and explore these:
What would “good enough” look like in my home this week?
Which chore drains me most — and how can I make it lighter?
What does my ideal “reset ritual” look like?
Where am I pressuring myself to meet unrealistic standards?
How would I treat a friend who felt overwhelmed by chores?
What small habit could make tomorrow’s chores easier?
Time to Reset
Being overwhelmed by household chores doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re carrying a lot and your worth is not defined by how spotless your sink is.
So, let’s release the InstaPerfect pressure, embrace “good enough,” and create rhythms that support us instead of exhaust us.
And when it all feels too much? Take ten minutes for yourself. Breathe. Reset.
Because a calmer you creates a calmer home. And that’s more powerful than perfect any day...
Now it’s your turn. Scroll down and share your most effective ways to cope when you’re overwhelmed with household chores in the comments section (it's way down at the very bottom of this blog!) You’ll find a tribe riding the same roller-coaster. Let’s support each other.
What’s one mantra or ritual that helped you through a tough day? Do share in the comments section right at the end of the blog...
Ready to turn your home into a soulful space? The 'how to' is in the blog: Neuroaesthetics & the Soulful Space: Why Your Home Isn’t Just Decor — It’s a Healing Tool
Did this guide help you find a little calm amidst the chaos? Share it with a friend who’s feeling overwhelmed and could use a mindful moment of ease. Whether you’re in the thick of laundry or just staring at the washing-up, you’re not alone here.
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Neurodivergent ADHD/ADD and need help getting organised? My wonderful friend Christina is "Your Organised Lady" and is your go-to resource for getting from cluttered to clear. Her work doesn't just focus on getting the To-Do List done, but goes deep into your individual mindset to upgrade your beliefs about yourself. To hear more, listen to this: Personal Development Trailblazers Podcast - Releasing Shame, Reclaiming Space: Creating a Calm Home for Neurodivergent Minds with Christina Hardy
Christina can be contacted via: http://www.yourorganisedlady.co.uk
Claim this gem - on the house here: Welcome to Your Organised Lady - Pressure Reduction Blueprint
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📚 Further Reading:
If you’re ready to boost your mood and reclaim your happiness, my book Tap Yourself Happy: How to Use Aromatherapy and Energy Psychology to Become Happier is here to guide you. I’ve blended the soothing power of aromatherapy with simple, effective tapping techniques from energy psychology, making it easy for anyone to use - no prior experience needed.
The book has been written to help you to take charge of your emotional wellbeing anytime, anywhere. Whether you’re navigating stress, breaking free from negative patterns, or just craving a brighter vibe, Tap Yourself Happy offers a gentle, natural way to help you feel lighter, more balanced, and connected to your joy. It also has a section showing you how to clear negative energy from your home and glow up every room. It's woo-woo to uplift your cosy cocoon!
If you’re ready to tap your way to a happier, calmer you, I warmly invite you to grab your copy today: Tap Yourself Happy: How to Use Aromatherapy and Energy Psychology to Become Happier
And there’s more... ;-)
Let’s be real, sometimes housework feels less like “keeping things tidy” and more like fighting an endless battle against Mount Laundry and the Sink of Doom. Add in ADHD or just everyday overwhelm, and even the simplest chores can feel like climbing Everest in slippers.
So, if you’ve ever looked around and thought, “Where do I even start?” - I’ve got you. I’ve handpicked three books that have helped thousands of people swap overwhelm for doable systems, kinder self-talk, and (yes!) actual peace of mind. And because I know your time and energy are precious, I’ve kept these reviews short and sweet...✨
Just so you know: If you click on a product link and decide to buy, I may earn a small commission — at no extra cost to you. It’s a tiny way to support this blog and keep the content flowing, and I’m genuinely grateful for every click and purchase. Thank you for supporting what I love to create!
📚📖Book Reviews:
📖 How to Keep House While Drowning by K C Davis
This little gem feels like a warm hug in book form. K C Davis reminds you that dishes and laundry don’t define your worth (hallelujah!). Instead of perfection, she offers tiny, practical ways to make your home functional when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Each chapter is snack-sized, so you can dip in even when your brain’s fried.
👉 Best for: anyone craving compassion more than a chore chart.
✨ Peek inside on Amazon: How to Keep House While Drowning - K C Davis
📖 Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Ever feel like you’re carrying the entire household on your back? (Yep, me too.) Fair Play is Eve Rodsky’s genius system for making the invisible labour visible. With her card-based method, you and your partner can divvy up chores fairly - no more simmering resentment over laundry or who’s buying loo roll! It’s direct, smart, and a little bit revolutionary.
👉 Best for: couples who want less nagging, more balance, and way more joy.
✨ You need this book: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
📖 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD by Stephanie Moulton Sarkis
If ADHD (or just scatterbrain tendencies) keeps derailing your household schedule and your plans, this book is like a toolkit you can actually use. Ten clear strategies - no fluff, no guilt - to help you focus, beat procrastination, and get stuff done. Think: grab-a-tool-and-try-it-today, not “read 300 pages then feel bad.”
👉 Best for: ADHD brains who need straight-up solutions they can use right now.
✨ Grab your copy here: 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD by Stephanie Moulton Sarkis
The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to chores, clutter, or ADHD overwhelm. But these books? They’re like having a cheerleader, a coach, and a wise best friend on your shelf. Whether you need compassion, fairer teamwork, or no-nonsense hacks you can try today, one of these will hit the spot.
And remember — your worth has nothing to do with how spotless your house is. You’re already enough, exactly as you are. These books just make life a little lighter. 💛
📖 Clever Cleaning: The Natural Way to Clean Everything by Charlotte Figg & Purdy Rubin
If you’ve ever thought cleaning was just about shifting dirt, Clever Cleaning will make you think again. This beautiful book from the founders of Purdy & Figg is a love letter to natural cleaning. The kind that leaves your home sparkling, your senses uplifted, and your spirit soothed...
Now, I’ll admit it. I’m completely bonkers about Purdy & Figg products. Their blends aren’t just cleaning sprays, they’re mood-shifting little miracles. The new Calabrian Lemon smells like you’ve just wandered into a sun-warmed Italian lemon grove. Their Summer Lawn edition is like fresh-cut grass on a July morning.
And Lemon & Marjoram? Oh, that one's personal... It takes me right back to my nana Lillian’s kitchen where she’d make herb and lemon teacakes that melted in the mouth. Simply divine!
I still have a seasonal trio subscription so I can try their latest scent creations. Each one feels like a little present to my home.
What makes this book such a joy is how it blends practical, natural cleaning know-how with the sensory pleasure of essential oils. Cleaning, for me, isn’t just a chore. It’s a spiritual practice. When I spray those Purdy & Figg delights into the air, I’m not only clearing away smudges on a countertop, I’m clearing away stagnant energy.
In my own book, Tap Yourself Happy, I wrote about how essential oils can banish fusty odours and sweep out negative vibes.
Clever Cleaning carries that same ethos, making cleaning a mindful, uplifting ritual rather than a wearisome duty.
If you want to learn how to clean everything in your home without harsh chemicals while surrounding yourself with natural scents that make you smile, this book is a gem. And who knows, you might find yourself looking forward to cleaning days. I certainly do. ;-)
📖 Get Clever Cleaning here and discover the joy of natural cleaning. Honestly, it's a must-have for your home!
Discover more books on self-help here: Amazon Books
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Click this link the for answer ;-) Brilliant Biz & Life Academy
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Well, hellooo.... Take a peek at the SpiritualBohoVibe on Etsy
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Take a peek here - please click on the link: Audible - Audio Books, Podcasts and more!
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Just so you know: If you click on a product link and decide to buy, I may earn a small commission — at no extra cost to you. It’s a tiny way to support this blog and keep the content and tea flowing, and I’m genuinely grateful for every click and purchase. Thank you for supporting what I love to create!
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