Comparison Anxiety: How Comparing Yourself to Others Quietly Steals Your Joy
- Ruthy Baker
- Jul 15
- 9 min read
Updated: Nov 2
Ever scrolled through Instagram and wondered why your life feels like the blooper reel to everyone else’s highlight show?
You know that sneaky little voice that pipes up when you’re scrolling Instagram and suddenly feel like your whole life is... well, a bit meh compared to their highlight reel? Yeah, that’s comparison anxiety — and it’s one hell of a party pooper.
If the comparison trap has been quietly hijacking your joy, this post will help you spot it, stop it, and swap envy for empowerment.
It’s not just about feeling a pang of envy when your neighbour’s driveway suddenly has a shiny new car or your friend’s bag is exactly the one everyone’s been dying for. Nope, it’s way more insidious than that. It whispers in your ear that you need that stuff too: the latest gadget, the perfect Insta-worthy kitchen, the hustle culture trophy. And if you don’t have it? Well, what are you even doing?
Been there, done that, bought the overpriced shoes I didn’t need just to keep up with some invisible scoreboard. Spoiler alert: it didn’t make me feel like Beyoncé. It just made me poorer and more tired.
Here’s the kicker:
Chasing someone else’s life is the fastest way to miss out on your own. And trust me, that’s not a plot twist you want.
So let’s call this what it really is: comparison anxiety. It’s the exhausting, draining mental mess of measuring your whole damn worth against filtered photos, polished careers, and curated lives that don’t even tell the full story.
If you’re ready to kick that joy thief to the curb and get back your joy, this one’s for you.
What the Heck is Comparison Anxiety Anyway?
Look, comparing yourself to others is as old as time - probably older. But the relentless scroll culture we live in now? It’s like throwing gasoline on the fire. Comparison anxiety isn’t just a tiny itch. It’s a full-on rash that makes you question everything from your career to your actual worth.
It creeps in when you:
Stare at a perfectly styled feed and think, “Why doesn’t my life look like that?”
Feel the urge to buy all the things because everyone else is flexing theirs
Secretly wonder if you missed the memo on how to 'adult' properly
Imagine what it’d be like if you were just a bit more like her or him
Here’s a truth bomb: it’s not envy. It’s not jealousy. It’s a soul-sucking game that makes you forget one vital thing — your life isn’t a competition.
Why Comparison is Joy's Kryptonite: If you keep chasing someone else’s highlight reel, You're going to miss the bloopers in your own show, and honestly, those are often the best bits!
Chasing someone else’s life is the fastest way to miss out on your own.
The more time you spend obsessing over what everyone else is doing, the more you risk missing your own messy, beautiful story. Because guess what? Your life’s got plenty of gold, you just have to stop looking through someone else’s Instagram filter to see it.
Today's Affirmation: My worth isn’t up for debate — it’s built-in.
Why Naming Comparison Anxiety Changes Everything
Recognising this beast as comparison anxiety is like hitting the pause button on the chaos. When the scroll gets sticky and the envy creeps in, that’s your cue to step back, breathe, and remind yourself:
“This feeling’s lying to me. I’m more than a double tap or a follower count.”
Take that moment. Reset. Come home to you.
7 Ways Comparison Anxiety Quietly Steals Your Joy (And How to Shut It Down)
1. It makes you blind to your own wins.
When you’re too busy measuring your life against someone else’s highlight reel, you miss the tiny, beautiful victories right in front of you. That project you nailed, the kindness you showed, the day you got out of bed despite everything? Those count. Celebrate your wins, even the small ones. Write them down. Brag a little. You deserve it.
2. It fuels endless dissatisfaction.
Comparison anxiety is like a bottomless pit. No matter what you get, it never feels enough because you’re chasing someone else’s version of success. Solution? Practice gratitude. Start a 'done' list next to your to-do list. Focus on what you’ve got instead of what you don’t. Don't give in to those comparison triggers.
3. It drains your energy.
Obsessing over what others have or do wastes precious time and emotional energy that could be fuelling your own goals. When you catch yourself scrolling with envy, pause and ask: “Is this helping me or hurting me?” Then switch the tab or put the phone down.
4. It tricks you into buying stuff you don’t need.
Ah yes, consumerism’s best friend. Feeling low or 'less than' often leads to retail therapy that doesn’t heal. Next time you want to buy something because “everyone else has it,” ask yourself: “Do I really want this, or am I trying to keep up?” Delay the purchase and reflect. Spoiler: most of the time, you’re fine without it.
5. It sabotages your self-worth.
Constantly comparing yourself makes you believe you’re not enough. Not pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough. But your worth isn’t a scoreboard. You’re inherently valuable just as you are, quirks and all. Practice saying that out loud. It sticks better than you’d think.
6. It isolates you.
Comparison anxiety makes you feel alone, like you’re the only one struggling while everyone else’s life looks perfect. Newsflash: everyone’s got their mess. Reach out, share your real stories, and find your tribe. Vulnerability is the antidote to isolation.
7. It steals your joy and peace.
At the end of the day, comparison anxiety quietly robs you of the calm contentment you deserve. You might feel restless, anxious, or just plain “off” without knowing why. When you notice that, stop and check in with yourself. What can you do right now to ground back into your joy?
Your Escape Plan from the Comparison Spiral:
Ready to flip the script? Start here.
Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger envy - curate your feed like you curate your energy.
Set phone-free times to reduce mindless scrolling.
Write daily affirmations that remind you of your worth and unique journey.
Celebrate your wins every day, no matter how small.
Practice gratitude: list three things you’re thankful for before bed.
Talk to a trusted friend or coach about your feelings instead of bottling them up.
Try a digital detox weekend and notice how your mood shifts without the noise.
One small act of joy: Unfollow one comparison-trigger account. DM me and let me know you did it! 💛
✍️ I'd love to hear your take — scroll down and drop a comment. Real talk always welcome!
Journaling Prompts to Tame Comparison Anxiety:
When was the last time I compared myself to someone and it made me feel less than? What triggered it?
What are three things only I can do or offer the world?
How does comparison anxiety show up in my thoughts and body? Can I notice any patterns?
What small victories have I overlooked lately that deserve celebrating?
If I let go of the need to keep up, what would I do with the extra time and energy?
How can I create healthier boundaries around social media and consumerism?
What does joy feel like in my body when I’m not comparing myself to others?
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Q&A: Real Talk About Comparison Anxiety
Q: Is it normal to compare myself sometimes?
A: Totally. We’re human. The trick is noticing when it becomes comparison anxiety, that sticky, painful feeling that drags you down rather than motivating you.
Q: How do I stop comparing if it’s everywhere - like, literally everywhere?
A: Great question. You can’t control the world, but you can control your feed and your habits. Unfollow accounts that trigger you, limit screen time, and build routines that ground you in your own life.
Q: What if I still feel jealous or envious sometimes?
A: Feelings are not the enemy. They’re information. When envy pops up, see it as a signpost pointing to what you want or value. Then turn it inward with kindness instead of self-judgment.
Q: How does consumerism play into this?
A: Consumerism LOVES comparison anxiety, it’s like its lifeblood. When you feel 'less than,' you’re pushed to buy stuff you don’t need to try and fill that gap. Recognizing this pattern is key to breaking free.
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I needed this. Didn’t realise how much I compare myself until now. Gonna try that list thing, sounds helpful.