Let Go of Regret

Updated: Mar 13


There’s something about the winter months that has to do with letting go. Trees have released their leaves, the old growth is gone. But it’s not a time of nothingness, it’s a time of quiet creation.


Underneath the stillness there’s action. Release brings with it the formation of a void that has yet to be filled.


Time to Create a Void for New Thinking


And that’s the point of winter methinks. Using the natural inclination to cocoon, to withdraw from the cold outside, to allow time to go within and think about what needs to be finally freed from your psyche. Like regrets about past decisions, choices or actions. For me, this New Year wasn’t a time of celebration but of reflection and yes, I admit it, regret about the past.


The Regret Effect


The problem with regrets is that they’re like a snowball rolling down a snowy mountain. The more you ruminate about regrets, the bigger they become. Before you know it, there’s an avalanche falling on your mind and you feel trapped under the weight of disappointment and sorrow about making the wrong choice. Or, in my case, many bad choices…


What to do? Rather than flay around building imaginary scary snowmen out of the shame snow and pangs of guilt fluttering down, it’s time to let go of regret. But how?


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How to Let Go of Regret


Simply ask your subconscious the question ‘How can I let go of regret?’


Your subconscious is the gateway to cosmic intelligence. Yup, I do love asking the Universe a big ol’ power question and waiting for the reply. After occupying myself with decluttering and generally keeping busy until near exhaustion beckoned, the answer presented itself like the proverbial Fairy Godmother.


In the form of a book.


Not a self-help book but a novel. Which is unusual for me as I’m the poster girl for got-a-problem-find-an-expert-and-buy-their-book. No, this was more of a cozy on down in a pile of cushions and comfy blanket, throw another log on the fire, and melt into the deliciousness of doing not-one-jot except be transported by a sweet tale or two.


Except, in this case – Mind. Totally. Blown.


If you want to let go of regret, then you totally need to read The Midnight Library by Matt Haig


Please click on the link below:



It’s the story of Nora, whose life feels like a pile of crap. So much so, she decides to end it all. But at the stroke of midnight, on her very last day on this planet, she finds herself not on the ‘other side’ but instead in a library. Within the library, she is given the opportunity to undo her regrets. More than that, she’s able to try out the various different lives she might have lived, if she had made different choices.


What a Revelation!


I’m not giving you any more clues as to what’s within the pages. My lips are sealed. Except to say that by applying the idea to your own life, to your own regrets and unhappiness, over the choices that appear to have ended in a bit of a shitstorm, you’ll feel yourself let go of regret easily.


It’s as if someone waves a magic wand and ‘ping’….


Regrets disappear in a puff of inspired mind-f*$kery!


Learn to Think Differently about The Past


Thinking differently about the past isn't just a relief, it's totally liberating. Simply sitting quietly going back in time and really contemplating how life could have played out differently, unexpectedly and perhaps devastatingly, will press the reset button of your mind.


You can make a choice but you can never know for sure what the outcome of that choice will be. And that goes for past choices made. Because you may think that you could have made a better choice. But would it have turned out better... or worse?

Past relationships that went tits up. Financial decisions that left me penniless and neck deep in debt. Career choices that totally didn't pan out (and there were a few of those) or time spent supporting others instead of being my own cheerleader. Chasing dreams that were simply smoke-and-mirror illusions (oh yeah, there were loads of those!) and sometimes simply acting like a complete dick...


All the regrets have got up and taken themselves out like yesterday's trash. Gone for good. They've been replaced by being able to look back and simply smile.


Letting go of regret allows for hindsight that's kind-sight. The ability to look back and be kind to your former self. Hey, at the end of the day, you're only able to make a choice with the level of self-awareness and knowledge of a situation that you have in that exact moment.


Regret is just a hiccup in the stream of consciousness that you mistakenly believe to be reality. But regret is only a memory not fully seen from a wider perspective. Learning the truth about regret is like attending mind-awakening school, allowing you to open your mind to the lesson, rather than remaining stuck in some imaginary detention where you're continually writing down the lines 'I regret this and I regret that' over and over again. Past choices are lessons learned and wisdom gained. Now you know better, so you'll do better. End of.


Give yourself a break. Take time out to do nothing except read The Midnight Library and learn how to let go of regret.


I promise you – you won’t regret it!


Get your copy here - please click on the link below:



“Sometimes regrets aren't based on fact at all”
― Matt Haig, The Midnight Library


Please let me know about the tips and techniques that enhance your life - I'd love to hear from you. And if there's a particular issue or subject that you'd like me to explore in a blog, then drop me a line!


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© Ruthy Baker 2022