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How to Look Confident

Updated: Mar 13, 2022

How to look confident is something that as a hypnotherapist and life coach I’m asked to help with a lot. And it’s understandable that you want to know how to look confident. Confidence gives you an advantage in any situation. You’re more likely to ace an interview, charm your date, or convince your boss that you’re the right person to promote. In fact, just looking like you’re confident is often enough to make you more persuasive and successful.

Plus, your behavior tends to shape your thinking, so acting assertive will help to make your doubts and fears melt away.

Even if the thought of confronting your boss or speaking in public makes you nervous, you can appear calm and collected. Try these tips for training yourself on how to look confident under pressure.

How to Use Body Language:

Adjust your posture

The way you hold yourself and move around plays a big role in determining your mood and how others see you. Make it a habit to sit and stand with your back straight and your shoulders back. Distribute your weight evenly and tighten your abdominal muscles.

Make eye contact

Hold your head and your gaze up. If you find it uncomfortable to look someone in the eye, try focusing on different areas of their face for a couple of seconds at a time, or gaze at the spot between their eyes. The results will be about the same.

Open up

Overall, think in terms of taking up whatever space is available to you. Uncross your arms and legs. Plant your feet about a foot apart. Lean toward someone while they’re talking to you. Use your hands expressively and in an open way when talking.

Slow down

If you tend to move faster when you’re nervous, experiment with doing the opposite. Make your gestures and speech more deliberate and relaxed. Also, allow your voice to deepen slightly, people tend to speak faster and higher when they’re nervous, so do the opposite.

Smile wide

A happy face looks more confident and attractive. Think about how you feel when someone beams at you and share that joy with others.

Develop confidence while you sleep with this guided meditation from my YouTube Channel. Please like, share and subscribe to be kept up-to-date with my latest vlogs, videos and content. Click on the link below:

Other Ways to Look More Confident:

Get a makeover

Careful grooming reminds yourself and others that you’re worth caring about. Treat yourself to a makeover. Change your hairstyle or buy a flattering outfit.

Exercise regularly

It’s easier to look and feel confident when your body is strong and limber. Find a variety of physical activities you enjoy and will want to maintain.

Breathe deeply

Use your breath to calm and center yourself. Lengthening your exhalations helps you to feel braver and manage stress. This is because deep and regular breathing fools your brain into thinking that you feel relaxed, consequently it sends out calming vibes out into your body.

Avoid the ‘ums’ and ‘ahhs’

Upgrade your communications by cutting the ‘ums’ and ‘ahhs’ out of your vocabulary. Replace those fillers with a strategic silent pause instead.

Prepare small talk

Conversation skills can be learned. If you often struggle to find something to chat about, brush up on interesting news stories or funny anecdotes you can share at parties or networking events.

Express interest.

Your anxiety levels decrease when you focus on others. Listen attentively, show enthusiasm, and ask relevant questions. You may make new friends and feel more connected to your old ones. People love to talk about themselves – allow them to. It’ll take the pressure off you and they’re likely to think you’re a great conversationalist, simply because you’re a good listener!

Think positive

Pay attention to the things you like about yourself and others. Make a list of the events and experiences that you’re grateful for. Being upbeat will help you to appreciate your strengths and aim higher. Keep a gratitude journal to help you notice the great happenings in your life.

Create a mantra

Your self-talk can undermine your efforts or boost your sense of self-worth. Find some words and phrases that lift you up. Post them somewhere you can see them and repeat them to yourself a few times each day. Or use switchwords for confidence, these are one-word mantras that have a direct effect on your subconscious. Find out more about switchwords in the ‘And there’s more’ section below.

It’s natural to feel nervous in high-stakes situations like business presentations and some social situations. The more you practice looking confident, the more effective you’ll become at making a positive impression on others and strengthening your belief in yourself. Eventually, you’ll find that your self-confidence will increase naturally and you’ll find it easier to focus on others, rather than worrying what they think about you.

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And there’s more…

Want to get your confident vibe up and running? Take a look at these brilliant resources, which will help you have the ‘feel good’ factor about yourself:

Do you consider yourself shy or socially awkward? Help is at hand! Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has. With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the reader through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and—at long last—exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, “Everyone will judge you.” Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self. Buy this book! Click on the link below: How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety – Ellen Hendriksen PhD:

Do you love all things self-help and personal growth? How about with a huge dollop of laugh-out-loud humour on the side? Chock full of sage advice, timeless wisdom and the odd F-bomb, you absolutely need to read this book. You’ll discover how to identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviours that stop you from getting what you want, and that are at the root of your lack of confidence. You’ll also learn how to create a life you totally love – right now – and change your mindset around money. What’s not to love, right? Buy this book! Click on the link below: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life – Jen Sincero:

Rammed full of helpful tips and tricks, this is a book that leads you to understand concepts that will change the way you communicate with others. Whether you need to give a speech to thousands, or just need to tackle an awkward boss, shine at an interview, charm a traffic warden, or stop others crossing your boundaries – you’ll learn to do this and much more with bucket loads of panache. Yeah, go you! Buy this book! Click on the link below: How to Own the Room: Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking – Viv Groskop:

Do you have a secret desire to write a book? Then everything you need to know about writing a book is right here - click on the link: 40 Days To A Finished Book!

Want to create big change in your life and have yourself some freedom from the daily 9 to 5 grind? Click on the link: Learn how to step into your best life by gaining the skills that you need!

Ssshh! Don’t let anyone know. This book contains masses of effective techniques so that you’ll know the secret of how to look confident – in any situation! This book is packed with strategies for increasing confidence. By choosing one or two at a time and using them, your confidence will grow significantly no matter what your starting point. Apply the tools, techniques and principles you are about to read and you will have all the confidence you could ever need in any situation. Buy this book! Click on the link below: The 50 Secrets of Self-Confidence: The Confidence To Do Whatever You Want To Do – Richard Nugent:

Let’s talk about self-talk and mantras. What you say to yourself really does have an effect on you. Learn how to look confident by increasing your self-confidence on the inside by using Switchwords. These are one-word mantras that ‘flick a switch’ in your subconscious and give your mind a subtle command that helps you to feel, think and behave differently. Think of it as one-word self-hypnosis. Switchwords can be used individually or grouped together to form Switch-Phrases. Learn all about them here in my book. Buy this book! Click on the link below: Speak Yourself Happy: Use Switchwords to Create Your Ideal Life – Ruthy Baker:

Want more content on how to be confident? Here’s Confidence Tip No. 1 from my YouTube Channel. Please like, share and subscribe to be kept up-to-date with my latest vlogs, videos and content. Click on the link:

Do you feel ‘not good enough’ and want to change? Take a look at this blog – and remember to sign up for my newsletter for more blogs and content! Click on the link: Not Good Enough – Is That How You Feel? (

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To be updated with my latest blogs, books and courses, or to message me for a private online coaching and therapy session, or to discuss a book project –  I’ll be thrilled to hear from you!  Please contact me via the contact form - go to Menu and click on Contact.

© Ruthy Baker 2020


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