Are you an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) who feels worn out when you spend time with certain people? Perhaps you’ve been hanging out with energy vampires!
Energy vampires prey on HSPs because of their caring and sensitive nature. HSPs are incredibly kind-hearted and good listeners, with the tendency to be overly giving to others. Unfortunately, HSPs too often end up in an exhausted heap because they give-give-give their energy away.
If this is a situation you find yourself in, then it’s time to watch out for the energy vampires.
The people around us affect how we feel and our ability to cope with daily living. There are plenty of reasons why some people may drain your energy more than others.
If you have an emotional vampire draining you dry, it’s time to start protecting your energy. Below, you’ll discover how to recognize the signs of an emotional vampire, and the best ways to protect your energy.
Understanding The Different Types of Emotional Vampires
Emotional vampires come in a variety of forms. They include:
· Constant talkers
· Drama queens
Each type of emotional vampire will leave you feeling tired and deflated after being in their company.
Victim emotional vampires are the people who always play the victim, even when they are the perpetrator. Life always happens to them, rather than accepting that they have the power of choice in how they respond to life's events. Worse still, victim energy is very contagious. It's easy to be drawn in and begin looking at your own life and forget that you have the power of 'response-ability' and the responsibility to use that power wisely. Victim emotional vampires want others to sort out their shizzle, rather than being proactive and finding solutions for themselves. Their mantra is 'Save Me, Save Me,' but aren't prepared to help themselves.
Narcissists are only interested in their own thoughts and feelings. Seriously, they don't give a shit about anyone else. They may appear to be concerned but only if their 'concern' means they'll get something out of the relationship. These are the masters of using other people for their own gain. They're easy to spot because no matter how the conversation starts, it always ends up being about them. Oh, and everyone around them is considered an idiot and incapable. Their mantra is 'Me, Me, Me.' Enough said.
Constant talkers drain your mental energy by not allowing you space within your mental bandwidth. The incessant 'yada-yada-yada' chattering pulls the plug on your ability to process what they're saying. And the thing is, they rarely have anything of value to share. Their mind might not require any downtime, but as an HSP yours definitely does! If they catch you and begin talking, your ears will be chewed off and you'll return home with a completely frazzled brain. As they say, silence is golden. Their mantra is 'Did I tell you that...' Ad infinitum and ad nauseam.
Controllers simply want to control your thoughts and actions. All of them. Anything from where you should go, what you should do, and when. They tend to undermine you so that you don't trust your own judgement, which makes it easier to influence you. They especially control you so that others can't see your shining abilities, and tend to veto your ideas before they've got off the ground. Their weapon of choice is doing their best to control how others see you. Their mantra is 'Do as I tell you.' They get mad when you don't.
Drama queens think that life revolves them. They live life as if they're in the middle of a soap opera. No such thing as a slight hiccup in their life. Nope, if anything goes wrong it's a catastrophe. There are no molehills, only mountains. Their preferred method of sucking your energy is phoning you up in the middle of the night in a state of hysteria. Even if you haven't slept in days, whatever they're going through means it's okay to wake you at 3:00 a.m. Life is simply a stream of dramatic re-runs of the same old, same old. They have no intention of connecting with their inner peace because that would make their life boring beyond words; and, of course, they wouldn't receive the attention they crave. Their mantra is 'Pay attention to me now!' Time to switch the answerphone on methinks.
Most of us know at least one type of emotional vampire in our lives. Not sure how to identify them? There are a few signs to watch out for…
Tell-Tale Signs You Are Dealing with An Emotional Vampire
There are several tell-tale signs that can help you decide if you’re dealing with an emotional vampire. The main signs to watch out for include:
You feel mentally exhausted after spending time with them.
You feel depressed or anxious around them.
You feel like they are putting you down.
You feel angry or agitated after speaking with them.
You turn to comfort eating or some other unhealthy distraction after being around them.
You want to sleep after being in their company.
Everyone who encounters an emotional vampire will feel at least one of the things above. Basically, you feel crap when you spend time with them.
Protect Your Energy
If you are dealing with an emotional vampire, how can you stop them from draining your energy? The good news is there are strategies you can use to deal with them.
If possible, you should distance yourself from the person. Avoiding being around an emotional vampire is the best way to stop them negatively impacting you. However, this isn’t always possible but at the very least find ways to limit your exposure to them. When you limit your availability to them, energy vampires tend to find someone else to drain. So, where possible, remove yourself from their radar and maintain radio silence. Let calls go to answerphone.
If you can’t totally distance yourself, make sure you perfect the art of self-care. Taking care of yourself will allow you to feel more confident to set healthy boundaries. You will naturally be more assertive and protective over your time. So, if you don’t already, set aside time every day to focus on you. Pamper yourself, take care of your own needs first, and watch how your energy and tolerance changes for negative people. Self-care is one of the best ways for an HSP to recharge depleted energy batteries.
If you are really struggling to handle an emotional vampire in your life, find a therapist or life coach. Seeking help from a professional will enable you to understand why you get drawn in by energy vampires, as well as provide solutions that can help. The best way for an HSP to achieve any goal - including removing negative influences - is through talking through a problem, deciding on a solution and having accountability to keep you on track. Finding someone who can support you, build you up and help you feel stronger in yourself is the best investment you can make.
Emotional vampires are everywhere today. It isn’t always possible to get away from them immediately, but there are things you can do in the meantime to protect yourself and your energy.
Everything is about energy. The way you feel around certain people will tell you if this connection needs to be stopped or not. - Unknown
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