Ever wondered how to be happy? Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is too heavy, I look around and find people who continue to live fascinating and enjoyable lives, despite the obstacles they face. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – ‘How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a stressful life?’ Then I pause and observe for a while before I conclude that they start to work at a place called ‘self’. So, how does one become genuinely happy?
Loving is Accepting
My psychology professor once said that ‘loving means accepting’. To love oneself means to accept that you’re not a perfect being. But behind the imperfections must lie great courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your ability to recover from mistakes.
Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you’re contented with your work, the way you look, your family and friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – honestly, you know the answer to the question ‘how to be happy’.
When we take that first step towards a goal, that small step will eventually lead to something else, and then on to something else. But if you keep questioning life as if it’s never done you any right, before taking a step, you’ll never be able to find genuine happiness.
Feedback not Failure
I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, winning and losing. There are bad things that happen. That’s life. But it’s how you define and redefine the crap stuff and so-called failures that matters. Turn them on their head – failures are simply feedback that there’s something that needs improvement. A bit of tweaking to achieve a better result.
Every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it’s cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your pet, failing an exam yet trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.
Imagine life has a big scoreboard in the sky. Every time you take a step forward, you score a point. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each life game and think to yourself ‘Wow, today I won a point – I’m glad I gave it a shot!’ The alternative is to look at it and mumble, ‘Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try’, and then slump away.
Define your Happy
Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the latest car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the biggest prizes in life don’t always go to the fastest or bravest – or even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Everyone has his own definition of ‘happiness’.
Happiness for a writer may mean launching as many best-selling books as possible. For a footballer, it might be scoring the most goals. Happiness for a beggar may mean a hot meal that day. Happiness for a business person may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. Decide what will make your heart sing and then go for it.
Laugh Out Loud at Yourself
It’s about doing and making the best out of every single opportunity. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake, and you tell yourself ‘I’ll do better next time’, you carry with you a flame of strong willpower to persevere that may spread out like a bush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try. Despite what others think. Because you discover the power of being comfortable in your own skin. When you learn to accept yourself just as you are, to trust your own definition of being happy – you’ll discover true happiness.
Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughing at oneself. Giggle at your mistakes. Because then you don’t just become happy – you become free.
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I have to agree with the author of this book, Mark Manson. Not giving a flying fu*k and gaining acceptance about most things is a key to happiness. Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. Buy this book! Click on the link below: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life – Mark Manson
You know, keeping yourself low key and fitting in simply isn’t the way to happiness. Why’s that? Because you’ll always feel you could be and feel better. Because you’ve got dreams you want to achieve. How to be happy doesn’t start with playing small. Go big and bold and you’ll be a happier badass along the way. Take a look at Jen Sincero’s no-holding-back-tell-it-like-it-is and grow into your big girl pants! Buy this book! Click on the link below: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life – Jen Sincero:
I stumbled headlong into this next book quite by chance. Holy crap what a fantastic read! You’ll never find happiness by relying on others to make you happy. Being happy starts with you. Whether you’re an individual freelancer, self-made entrepreneur, or part of a larger corporation but not realising your dreams, Ash Ambirge draws on her unconventional personal story to offer a fun, bracing, and occasionally potty-mouthed manifesto for the transformative power of radical self-reliance. Read this inspiring, incredible story and see how you too can give life the middle finger salute! Buy this book! Click on the link below: The Middle Finger Project: Trash Your Imposter Syndrome and Live the Unf*ckwithable Life You Deserve – Ash Ambirge:
To discover ways to increase your happiness quota, take a look at my books. Click on the links: Write Yourself Happy https://amzn.to/2NhqPAO and Speak Yourself Happy https://amzn.to/2AocqdO
Take a look at this blog – Discover the 3 Things You Need to Do! – Please click on the link: Three Things You Need To Do (ruthybaker.com)
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© Ruthy Baker 2020