Learn to shine and you’ll discover how to gain confidence in yourself. But be prepared for a few knocks along the way…
We’re all born with a survival instinct, a need to be loved and accepted, encouraged to learn and grow. And we’re also born with the ability to learn to shine, to develop skills, to express our talents and the desire to do so.
As babies we’re vulnerable and look to our caregivers to love us unconditionally, to provide us with a backdrop to support us as we move from childhood to adulthood. From the early years, through to school, college or university, and beyond, we look to others for the support and approval we desire.
But often we shut off those parts of ourselves that are judged negatively, we close down our potential in an effort to not upset others, to fit in. We keep ourselves small because others want us to. Because this, we believe, is how we will gain love and acceptance.
Wearing the Mask
The problem is that by wearing the approval-seeking mask, we lose that vital part of ourselves, the creative space, the spark of joy that makes life worthy of living.
In a sense, we become manipulative beings ourselves, because we believe that we have to bend and shape ourselves to meet the expectations and approval of others, and so we do. This adaptive behaviour eventually becomes second nature. But we’re unable to see it for what it is – a loss of our true identity.
The Disconnect from Ourselves
And yet, there’s a sense of disconnect from ourselves and the world around us. A feeling of something not quite right, a bit of anxiety that constantly hangs around, waiting for us to figure out the puzzle. It’s an uncomfortable feeling that we tend to suppress in order to get through our daily life. But suppression is not the answer – we need to learn to shine. Those feelings aren’t there to make us feel bad, they’re there to wake us up to ourselves and our potential.
Before we’re able to do that, we have to acknowledge our own faulty thinking, the erroneous beliefs about ourselves, and the error of ever leaving our sense of self-worth in the hands and minds of others. We need to stop sleep-walking through our lives. Once we begin to unearth and work through the incorrect beliefs we hold, forgive ourselves and others, we can take steps to change from the mask wearing persona to the authentic, real person inside.
Your Vibe attracts Your Tribe
There’s a saying that your vibe attracts your tribe, and therein lies a conundrum. You see, when you begin to live as your authentic self, you’ll gain confidence in yourself and attract people who value you, like moths to a flame.
But there will also be those, previously part of your inner circle, who will turn away from you. This could be because of envy or jealousy, but it’s most likely their own insecurities and the inability to manipulate you to seek their approval.
How will this show up in your life? Your ‘vibe tribe’ will inspire you to realise your dreams, they’ll do their best to raise your spirits and cheer you on as you learn to shine. But the others will silently withdraw their support, they’ll often quietly discredit you to anyone who’ll listen, and do their best to make you doubt yourself.
Authenticity and Intuition
Your intuition will help you discern the difference between the two. You see, when you develop true authenticity, you also discover the ability to listen to your true nature, to have the knack of knowing who and what is right for you.
When you learn to shine as your true nature intended, you’ll be the queen of your own palace, able to live life on your own terms. And you’ll have created enough confidence in yourself to stop seeking the approval of others. Some may resent your success, but remember:
When others try to put you down, remember who you are – and straighten your crown!
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And there’s more…
So, where do you start if you want to learn to shine? What better place to start than the aptly named book – Shine: Rediscovering Your Energy, Happiness and Purpose – Andy Cope Gavin Oattes: Well, if you’re going to rise, you may as well shine. Laugh and learn while you: Rediscover your ability to ping out of bed every single day with fire in your belly and a smile on your face. Identify what really matters in your life and how to stop stressing about the stuff that doesn’t. Remember how to focus on all that makes you happy and cut the nonsense that worries you for no reason.
And now you’re on a roll with the learn to shine journey, it’s time to pick up speed with Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness – Vex King:
Look good, feel great – it’s an inside out job. What better way to learn than from a lady who is a Queen of Acting. And you have to admit, she looks good on it, right? No sloppy slipped crown on this goddess! It’s All Good: Delicious, Easy Recipes That Will Make You Look Good and Feel Great – Gwyneth Paltrow:
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Keen for more mind, body and soul info – take a look here: CANI Constant and Never-Ending Improvement (ruthybaker.com)
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© Ruthy Baker 2020