Fear and self-doubt are two things that every normal person faces, and they’re also the biggest obstacles to success. Some people feel more fear and self-doubt than others. And some are better at overcoming these worries than others.
Regardless of where you fall on the fear/self-doubt spectrum, there are many things you can do to rise above these self-sabotaging emotions.
Here are some ideas to help you overcome fear and self-doubt:
Identify what you’re actually afraid of
What do you really fear? Most of us don’t have to worry about being eaten by tigers. Our lives are rarely in danger. Nowadays, we worry about paper tigers, which are imagined, rather than actual dangers. The most common fears in modern society are failure and making a fool out of one’s self. Of course, there are others:
If you want to start a business, but procrastinate and never fully move forward – what’s your real concern?
Maybe you want to ask out someone on a date, but worry that they’ll reject you – and what do you think that will mean about you?
Be aware of your actual fear, and then you’ll have a chance of addressing it.
Find situations related to your fear that are only mildly uncomfortable
Perhaps you have a fear of public speaking. What could you do that’s similar, but less terrifying? You could:
Give a speech to a group of friends
Start conversations with strangers
Visualize yourself giving a speech
Practice in front of a mirror
Do more group activities and speak up more
Thinking creates and magnifies fear. Taking action lessens fear. One of the best ways to get over fear is to immediately take action before you have a chance to talk yourself out of it. Most people would be more successful, happier, and less afraid if they thought less and did more.
Visualize yourself being unafraid
Imagine you have a twin that’s similar to you, but different in other ways. If you could build the perfect twin, what would they be like? What skills, beliefs, and attitudes would they have? How would they handle the situation that creates fear in you?
Allow yourself to become that twin. There are excellent NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) techniques that can help you do this.
Give yourself small successes
Set yourself up to win. Make the game so easy that you can’t fail. As you gain confidence, up the stakes a little. Get used to small wins in the situations that cause you to feel fear.
If the thought of making a hundred cold calls a day makes you break out in a cold sweat, give yourself the goal of making just one cold call. The next day, you can do three.
Show yourself that you can do it and that nothing bad is going to happen to you. After all, the worst anyone can say is no!
What’s the most serious consequence you are likely to endure if the thing you fear comes true? It’s probably nothing you can’t handle.
What happens if the publisher rejects your book? What if your speech doesn’t go well? What’s actually going to happen to you? Will you still be safe? Will the ceiling suddenly fall down?
Whether you need some help from a friend or a professional, there’s no shame in asking for help.
After all, you’d get help if you had a flat tyre, or a broken arm, wouldn’t you? It’s always possible to get the help you need.
How much do you allow fear and self-doubt to rule your life? Imagine what your life would be like if you could overcome all of your fears and self-doubt.
Most people avoid the actions that trigger these uncomfortable feelings. But you can do better. You can act in the face of these emotions and live your life to the fullest. Remember, the best way to overcome fear is to take action!
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And there’s more…
Want to learn how to stand in your own power? Then you must read this book. Hilariously funny and with the odd ‘f-bomb’, you’ll discover how to create a life you love: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life – Jen Sincero:
In kickass self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be ‘positive’ all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. Oh, and with a few dropped ‘f-bombs’ too! The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life – Mark Manson:
I’m a total self-help geek and here’s a list of my 10 Best Self-Help books - please click on the link: 10 Best Self-Help Books (ruthybaker.com)
I’m also a life coach and therapist and here’s a quick video from my YouTube channel demonstrating the Thought Field Therapy anxiety procedure with the gamut technique, useful for when you’re feeling anxious. Please give me a like, share and subscribe – I’d really appreciate it! https://youtu.be/DZ2BMHqWcBw
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